A Timeline of Hilarious Vomit Stories From My Life: Part 1

That’s what you get for wearing your hat sideways

Whenever an inappropriate story was brought up at the dinner table growing up, my father would disgustedly cut us off with a, “We’re eating here!” However, today, after a fellow employee was sick in the bathroom, seemingly everyone I saw soon after recanted their best puke/upchuck/vomit/hurl/throwing up stories. Quite the dichotomy in settings. I sat down and thought about it for a bit and came up with a list of the best puke stories in my life (most of which I was personally responsible for). Hope you’re not reading this over lunch… Continue reading

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WWE Money in the Bank 2012 Results and Analysis

We’ve had some really bad shows these past couple weeks, hopefully because they will be pulling out all the stops for the 1000th episode. But Money in the Bank is usually one of the better PPVs of the year and doesn’t need as much story to build up the two ladder matches. While I don’t think it was better than last year’s (which was the best PPV since 2003), it was still a strong show where all the advertised matches delivered. Continue reading

K.I.T. How to Stay in Touch After College

Is it tasteless that I got this from a teenage depression site?

So you just went through years of college, had the time of your life, graduated, got a job, moved to a new area, and now what? You’re the new person in town by yourself with no friends. It’s pretty daunting being thrown into a completely new facet of your life with essentially no preparation.

Remember the 5th grade? The work got a little harder to prepare you for middle school. Then, 8th grade rolls around and we were getting the serious drug and sex talks to avoid any potential mishaps that could damage our futures. Finally, in the latter parts of high school we were taking college preparatory courses to get us a feel for what it’s like ahead.

But with college? Yeah, obviously the course work prepares you for your job environment, but does it really prepare you for looking for an apartment? Setting up utilities? Paying rent? Managing finances? Getting insurance and a vehicle registered in a new state? While some colleges offer occasional workshops to educate people about these things, on a whole, there is little education on what may be the biggest “jump” in our lives.

But the biggest change upon leaving the college world has to be your social environment. While there will definitely be people your own age in your new life, the abundance that was there in college is gone. This is why it is imperative to maintain the strong relationships you gained in high school and college.

I remember going to my senior prom and my date (who had graduated a year prior) telling me that she really only keeps up with her close friends and doesn’t associate with anyone else. I was a little skeptical of this, but she was absolutely right. At this present time, I probably only talk to or hang out with about 7 people from high school. And it’s probably about the same number for college. So it’s incredibly important to keep in contact even though we aren’t living close to each other anymore.

So that brings me to the focal point of this article. How do you stay in touch with people and live our own busy life at the same time? Here are the methods I utilize: Continue reading

The Top Five Characters in Baseball Today

If there’s one thing about professional baseball that I truly enjoy, it’s the cast of characters involved. Really, anything from a crazy wind-up to a dashing mustache can create a character for a player.

In the game today however, there seems to be a distant lack of characters (I call it Vince Vaughn Syndrome). Gone are the days of the “The Big Hurt” Frank Thomas, “The Ironman” Cal Ripken, “The Big Unit” Randy Johnson, and Mike “Moose” Mussina. However, despite the quantity of characters diminishing, there are still some great individuals left. Here are the top 5 at this point in time:

Continue reading

Capitol Meats: The Modern Day Ice Cream Truck

Capitol Meat Van

This is how most child-kidnapping stories begin

Going home from work yesterday, I was in the zone. I had an awesome meeting about the future of our company to close my day, and I was ecstatic with the directions we could possibly go. I hit shuffle on my iPod, and i sang every song that came up.

For your reading (and music judging) pleasure:

I Can Love You Like That- All 4 One
Lido Shuffle- Boz Scaggs
It Must Have Been Love- Roxette
Your Smiling Face- James Taylor
Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey- John Mayer
Move Bitch- Ludacris

Needless to say, it was a great ride home. As I pull into my apartment complex, I noticed a large van with meats of all varieties adorning the sides parked in the middle of our parking lot. Hmm that’s odd, I thought, but I go around it and pull into my spot. As I’m getting out of my car and gathering my work materials, I hear a shout from across the lot. I casually glance and the guy is yelling to me. As this incredibly sketchy guy approaches me, he extends his pale, tattooed arm to give me a handshake.  Continue reading

WWE No Way Out Results and Analysis

Hopefully D-Bry stays tied up in the main event scene.

WWE No Way Out was a pretty poorly built show, but still managed to put on an average performance last night. There were some ups and downs, and you could even argue that the show would have been great had it ended after the WWE Championship match. Let’s take a look at each match and where the participants may be heading in the near future. Continue reading

Lost in the Crowd

A screencap from a KFC ad in Australia. They’re suggesting something here, but I can’t quite put my finger-licking finger on it.

Game 2 of the NBA Finals was this past evening, and since I don’t get cable in my new apartment until Saturday (which you can read about here), I once again trotted out by my lonesome to another local bar. As I rolled in to Shenanigans (which I learned from a friend was talked about in Super Troopers), I got a pretty good vibe. It seemed like a fun place, not too sketchy, and had a cool blues band performing.

I got carded going in by a nice black gentlemen and then again at the bar, which is unusual, but I’ve got nothing to hide, so I went with it. As the lady takes forever perilously scanning my ID, I take a looksee around the bar to check out the crowd. Before I can get a great look though, the bartender hands me back my ID and I order a beer. As I’m drinking and watching the game I happen to glance occasionally around me and noticed that out of about 20 people, only two of us (me included) are white. Continue reading